Popping a squat part 2

Apparently popping a squat never ends well for me and my clan.  We recently decided to put our 2 year old boy in underwear and undertake the challenge of potty training on a whim.  Yes, on a whim ... some people just aren't planners.  Anyways, he had been doing well for a week and had even learned to pee outside (out of necessity of course).  We were at a neighborhood picnic when he said he had to go potty.  Since the actual potty was a 5 minute walk away, I scooted quickly over to a clearing and pulled down his pants for him to potty. A couple seconds later, I heard a little toot and poop came squirting out the backside, just barely missing my own leg, but definitely not missing any part of him.  Apparently, we hadn't clarified which kind of "potty" he meant.  I yelled for help and watched as my husband about fell over laughing.  I was less amused, as I'm sure were the neighbors watching the whole thing go down over dinner.
Mom of the year ...

The best laid plans

I took all three of my children, now ages 2, 4, and 6, to dinner by myself one night recently.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself for taking on the challenge and had even decided we would sit outside, given the lovely spring weather. This particular restaurant was counter service so I found myself a little flustered on how I was going to get all the kids and all the food and all the drinks outside.  I mapped out my plan and gave each of the big kids their drink to take outside.  I decided I would get them settled and just bring the 2 year old back in with me to get the food.  I had just finished filling up the drinks when I turned around to see my 2 year old outside the restaurant smiling back at me from the window.  Guess he had come up with his own plan.

Mom of the year ...

Tooth fairy fired

My oldest daughter lost her 3rd or 4th tooth last week (yes, I've lost count already). She was, of course, quite excited and handed it to me to see.  Since it was still a bit bloody, I thought I would rinse it off carefully.  It took 3 seconds and I rinsed it right down the drain.  Needless to say, she was devastated so I spent the next half hour convincing her that the tooth fairy didn't need to see the tooth and could find it anywhere.  My daughter carefully wrote a note to the tooth fairy and placed it under her pillow.
The next morning, I came in from an early run and was greeted by my sobbing daughter.  "The tooth fairy didn't come!"  Oh man, she was right - the tooth fairy definitely forgot.  After much damage control, we convinced her that the tooth fairy couldn't see her note written in light green pen.  She rewrote the note in black marker and seemed to buy our story.
I went to work that night and received a text from my husband at 11 pm - "operation TF complete."  I had no idea what he was talking about.  Fortunately, he hadn't forgotten ... again.
Mom of the year ...

Adventures with Miralax and gastro

After everyone in our house was hit with the stomach bug (aka gastro) right after New Years, I was quick to celebrate when I thought we were out of the woods.  About a week later, our 5 year old daughter began complaining of belly pain.  Usually when she complains of belly pain, I fire up the Miralax because I am a firm believer that constipation in kids is the root of all evil.  I also realized that no one could confirm whether or not she had pooped since her bout with gastro so I doubled the dose and added a few other agents to assist.  She continued complaining of belly pain but still no poo so I started to wonder why my concoction wasn't working.  Perhaps, I had the wrong diagnosis?  I laid off on the constipation meds and stuck with good ol' Tylenol and Motrin for pain. She continued to complain of belly pain and woke up the next night crying, poor thing.  About an hour later, we heard her yell "I threw up and it's in my hair."  We trudged up the stairs to get everything cleaned up, dosed her with some zofran and went back to bed.  Less than an hour later, "Mom, I pooped and it's in my underwear."  Turns out it wasn't just the undies but the jammies, the floor, and the wall too.  I guess Miralax isn't the treatment of choice for gastro.
Mom of the year ...

Glory of God

In our first parent-teacher conference for our new kindergartener this year, we heard many wonderful things about our oldest  child.  Of course, it came as no surprise to me that our daughter's kindergarten teacher has discovered that in addition to her positive attributes, she has a bit of a sassy side.  A few times in school thus far, she has told her teacher "well, I already know about that."

In one of the first school chapels, the entire lower school was gathered with the principal speaking in  front of the group of students.  The principal told them that she was going to talk to them about the glory of God.  It was at that point our daughter spoke up loud enough for all to hear "I already know all about that!"  That's my girl.

Mom of the year ... 

Party Crasher

We were at a playground with friends recently enjoying the beautiful fall weather. There was a birthday party set up at the picnic tables nearby. I was checking in with my husband to make sure all the kids were accounted for when he pointed to our 3 year old son. He was wearing a birthday hat, sitting beside a random birthday girl and waiting patiently for cake. I promptly sent my husband over to collect our little party crasher.

Mom of the year  ...

Made in China

Our 9 month old 3rd child is into everything these days.  There have been countless near misses of me finding various items in his mouth but fortunately no major events.  I was on call recently and my husband was so proud of himself for taking all three children out to dinner ... all three children out to dinner.  Yes you read that correctly.  Anyways, he came home feeling like "dad of the year" until he found a "made in china" sticker in the baby's poopy diaper.

Let's just hope the sticker wasn't attached to anything when the baby ate it.  I reassured my husband that intestinal transit time isn't that quick and there was a good chance it happened on my watch.
Mom (and dad) of the year ...

Medical neglect

3 years ago today, we gave birth to a perfect baby boy.  Then the next day on our way out of the hospital, one of the Pediatric Cardiologist flagged us down in the hallway.  My husband was picking up the car when he told me our little baby had moderate aortic stenosis.  As I heard the words, I felt my own heart fall out of my body and my brain seemed to empty itself of all previous knowledge of congenital heart disease.  I looked the cardiologist straight in the eye (the same cardiologist I had worked with for almost 2 years taking care of infants with congenital heart disease) and asked "what does that mean?" It took him a second as I'm sure he was trying to figure out if I was serious or not and then he responded that our son would have to be followed closely and would likely need a procedure in the cath lab to open up his valve within the next few months.  We kept the diagnosis to ourselves at first, not wanting other peoples' questions and anxiety to add to our own stress.  But as time went by, he  continued to receive positive reports at all his visits.  And here we are 3 years later with a happy, healthy boy who can dribble circles around most kids his age.
I took him to the dentist recently and when the office staff asked me if the kids had any health problems, I responded "nope, they're fine - no health problems."  It took me a minute before I quickly yelled out the door ... "actually, he has a heart problem."  Her look was priceless.  I suppose I tend to minimize my own children's illnesses, but I'll take it as a blessing that it's not the first thing I think of when I think of my son.
Mom of the year ...  Now where did I put the baby's epi pen?

Halloween Preparation

Halloween is a time of year when many moms thrive.  So many opportunities to show the world how "pinteresting" you are - elaborate pumpkin carving and crafts, cute Halloween-themed snacks for preschool, coordinated costumes for the kids.  Well, as much as I love Halloween, I think I fall a little short of the "pinterest" standards.  We have a pumpkin carving party each year but haven't actually carved a pumpkin since we procreated.  We hit the pumpkin farms but not in cute coordinated pumpkin applique outfits.  And of course we love to go trick or treating, but I tend to either eat all the candy or throw it away.  Last year was the first year my kids became aware that they liked candy - up until then I had actually convinced them that they didn't like it (poor naive souls).  When we started talking about trick or treating this year, my now 4 1/2 year old daughter looked at me with a very serious face and asked "Mommy, will you save me at least one piece of my candy this year?"
"Yes, dear, I suppose I can spare at least one."
Mom of the year ...

Party Pooper ... pun intended

Having successfully potty-trained our daughter shortly after her 2nd birthday (with little to no effort), I wasn't overly concerned about potty-training our son.  I quickly realized that our daughter potty-trained herself and I can take no credit for the accomplishment.  Our 2 year old son has decided that while he has been willing to pee in the potty for the past 2 months, he prefers to poop in his underwear daily.  One day after a particularly tiring night in the hospital, I saw it in his eyes ... he was about to poop.  I scooped him up, ran to the potty, and put him on it.  Next thing I knew, he had pooped in the potty.  Poop. in. the. potty.  I'm fairly certain the clouds parted and gospel choirs were singing in the background.  I wiped a tear from my eye as I wiped his little bottom.  Then, I caught a whiff and as I helped him off the potty, I reached up and flushed it.  I flushed the potty. I flushed the potty.  I am sure my son is not the only one who potties for the shear delight of flushing the toilet.  So just like that, I ruined the most glorious moment of my life and his (well, at least the last 2 months of it).  Forty-five minutes later, he finally got over it.
Mom of the year ...

Stop yelling at me!

We were leaving the pool the other day and both the kids and I were at the limits of our patience.  As I put my 2 year old into the car, he started screaming for a snack that I didn't have.  I tried reassuring him that we would be home in 5 minutes if he would just get in the car, but he continued screaming and fighting me.  My 4 year old daughter can get herself into her seat (and usually buckle it) so once I had wrestled the little guy into his seat,  I proceeded to get in the car and start it.  When my daughter started yelling too, it pushed me over the edge and I yelled "stop yelling at me!"  I always feel a little guilty when I yell at my kids. On this particular day,  I blame the sun draining me of all energy (I come up with a myriad of excuses depending on the moment).  Anyways, I turned around as I was reversing the car and my daughter had her lips pursed, pointing to her unbuckled carseat with wide eyes.  She had stopped yelling as instructed, poor thing.
Mom of the year ...

Conversing with a 4 year old

We spent the weekend at the beach on a high school beach retreat. Our 4 year old had a blast getting to hang out with all the older kids and leaders.  One night, she hopped into one of the leader's laps to have a chat. Here's how the conversation went:
Leader "what is the best thing in life?"
Daughter "people"
Leader  "what is the worst thing in life?"
Daughter "boo boos"
Leader "if you could do anything for a day, what would it be?"
Daughter "I'd play"
At this point in his recounting of the conversation, I was feeling pretty good about her cute answers. And then he kept going ...
Daughter "and I'd pee in my pants"
Mom of the year ...

Here's my number, so call me maybe?

First off, I want to say "Happy Mothers' Day" to all the amazing moms out there!  I'm sure many of you are wondering how the "Mom of the Year" celebrates such an important holiday.  Well, I started the day with a solo run (ahhh ... ) then spent the next hour getting three children ready for church (aghhh!!!).  After that ruckus, I was ready for a break so we dropped them all off at nursery and headed for the coffee shop (yes, we are those people that spend Sunday school hour at the local coffee shop).  I was kind enough to leave my phone number with the baby room since he is only 3 months old and still exclusively breastfed.  About halfway into my coffee date with my husband, I realized that I had left "said" phone in the diaper bag ... in the nursery room.  I sipped a little quicker and headed back to check out the scene.  Fortunately no babies or old ladies rocking babies were permanently scarred today.
Mom of the year ...

Locked in or out?

So as expected, playing zone defense has been occupying most of my time these days, leaving little time to blog about my many award-winning performances at motherhood.  I am, however, accumulating lots of material between my sleep deprivation and thinning patience.  After a particularly  long day recently, my 4 year old daughter decided to lead a rebellion against me.  As of late, she has been my easiest child but that night, nothing was easy.  I finally asked her to stay in her room to scream her head off instead of having to listen to her cry for no good reason.  I shut the door but she kept opening it and coming out.  So I did what my instincts told me ... I locked the door and shut it.  It was at that moment that I realized I had not locked her in but had instead locked myself out.  Oops!  Fortunately, it unlocked as soon as she turned the knob again to escape her room.
Mom of the year ...

Seasoned pro

3rd child is here and I suppose you are all ecstatic to see a blog post (finally) from such a seasoned pro at motherhood. This little guy's arrival, however, has given me a few doubts about how much I have learned in my past 4 years as a mother. For starters, I landed in labor and delivery twice in "false labor."  What is the point of timing contractions if Doogie Howser (I swear the resident wasn't a day over 16) is going to look you in the eye and tell you it's not real labor?  I suppose he was right since the baby waited an entire week to make his appearance.  Nothing worse than having to take the walk of shame back to the car at a hospital where you worked for 6 years. Fortunately we had left all the luggage in the car so as my husband reassured me - "at least you don't have to walk back carrying a boppy!" With my confidence a little shaky, I was pretty hesitant to go back to L&D but I made it and the baby arrived safe and sound.
On my first outing with our new addition, I walked him to a park a couple miles away.  As we were getting ready to head home, he started screaming and I realized he was soaked - classic "pee around the diaper" move. Unfortunately for him, this experienced mom had neglected to pack a change of clothes. (I should mention it was February and quite chilly outside).
Clearly, my experience is paying off.
Mom of the year ...

Daddy's turn

I suppose it's the fact that this is my 3rd pregnancy, or perhaps the fact that I have been pregnant the majority of the last 4 years, but I am definitely not loving my gravid state these days.  I hear other expectant women talk about the thrill of feeling their baby kick or the excitement of setting up the baby's nursery.  I just keep thinking about how excited I am to start losing weight and running fast (or at least faster).  As excited as I am about our newest addition, I am just having trouble enjoying the means to our end.
The other day, my daughter was looking at me and hugging the baby.  "Mommy," she said, looking at me with her naive little face, "I think the baby is getting too big for you to carry.  It's time for Daddy to start carrying the baby."  Hmm... now there's an idea.  I guess she's in for a rude awakening later in life.
Mom of the year ...

Go Daddy!

If you've been following this blog, then you already know how much my 2 year old son loves basketball.  While my daughter watches cartoons, my son and I curl up in front of my computer to watch the Tarheels play basketball on Youtube.  He does a great job of cheering for Carolina and pointing out Ramses but today I noticed him saying something new.  "GO DADDY!"  At first, I was sure I had misunderstood him since his articulation isn't perfect.  "GO DADDY!"  Sure enough, that's what he was saying clear as day.  I am planning to take him to some games this season but am a little worried about the looks I may get when he starts cheering for "Daddy."

Mom of the year ...

Wrong channel

Our almost 2 year old son has continued to boycott sleep over the past couple weeks.  Despite the fact that we let him sleep in t-shirts, plaid shorts, and his running shoes, he still feels inclined to scream for 45 minutes at bedtime.  Recently, we have gone with the "let him cry" philosophy again.  It worked at 4 months of age so hoping it will work again now.  The other night, he had been crying on and off and we were doing our best to ignore him.  I decided to take a look at the video monitor to see what he was doing.  Good thing I checked because he was standing there in a t-shirt and running shoes ... only a t-shirt and running shoes.  And I thought we had those channels blocked!  Needless to say, we decided to go address his concerns before leaving him to cry some more.
Mom of the year ...

Payback's a ...

As a parent, it's hard not to feel that some children reap what they sew.  At this week's soccer game, we had a bit of drama on the field.  My daughter's little team, although primarily made of boys, is not very physical.  We quickly learned that some teams have boys who are much more into pushing and tackling than soccer.  Two boys on the other team were particularly rough, even with my daughter who happened to never be anywhere near the ball.  After several episodes of pushing each other and other kids, the coach decided to separate the 2 boys and put one on the other field.  (All of this carried on with both sets of parents watching in silence).  The boy who stayed on our field continued his physical tactics and resorted to tackling more than a few times.  In one play, 2 of our players tripped over each other and fell.  I guess the little boy thought this was his chance for wrestle mania because he dove onto the pile.  All of a sudden, he screamed and started crying and running toward his mother.  Apparently, one of the boys on our team had bitten him.  I'm not normally a fan of biting but I almost tried to start the wave.  The bite victim spent the rest of the game crying in his mom's lap.  We all seemed to enjoy the game more from that point on.  Good thing my child wasn't the perpetrator because if that mother had approached me, I'm afraid of how I would have responded.  Payback's a ... well, you know.
Mom of the year ...

Dear Roy

I'm really tempted to write Roy Williams a letter and if I thought there were any chance he'd read it, it would go something like this.

Dear Roy,

I am sure in your line of work that you come across many young talented basketball players.  I have heard that there is even a trend to start recruitment as early as the middle school years for promising young players.  I am writing to inquire about the player development and recruitment opportunities that exist for the toddler age group.  My almost 2 year old son seems to have an unheard of affinity for basketball.  He currently sleeps with at least 3 basketballs and wakes up talking about basketball.  He screams "basketball" every time he sees either a ball or a goal and insists on playing if there is a court anywhere nearby (despite his significant height disadvantage on most courts).  He has also developed a love of watching and analyzing games either on TV or youtube.  Luckily, I found the NBA station on TV or we would not have survived the few months between the Olympics basketball games and the coming NCAA season.  I have made it through many a temper tantrum by searching "UNC basketball" on YouTube and playing it for him.  He immediately stops crying the second he says those Carolina blue boys shooting the ball.

As far as raw talent goes, I have no insight into how to judge what is normal vs child prodigy in the arena of toddler basketball.  That is why I am contacting you.  I am hoping you can connect him to someone who can develop him into the basketball player that he clearly desires to become.  I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any ulterior motives.  Sure, I'd love to have free tickets (in good seats) to all the games once he is officially recruited to be a Tarheel.  But the real reason for contacting you, of course, is my son's happiness.  Please let me know if you have any advice for us.

Go Heels!

Sincerely, 

Mom of the Year