Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Made in China

Our 9 month old 3rd child is into everything these days.  There have been countless near misses of me finding various items in his mouth but fortunately no major events.  I was on call recently and my husband was so proud of himself for taking all three children out to dinner ... all three children out to dinner.  Yes you read that correctly.  Anyways, he came home feeling like "dad of the year" until he found a "made in china" sticker in the baby's poopy diaper.

Let's just hope the sticker wasn't attached to anything when the baby ate it.  I reassured my husband that intestinal transit time isn't that quick and there was a good chance it happened on my watch.
Mom (and dad) of the year ...

Friday, November 29, 2013

Medical neglect

3 years ago today, we gave birth to a perfect baby boy.  Then the next day on our way out of the hospital, one of the Pediatric Cardiologist flagged us down in the hallway.  My husband was picking up the car when he told me our little baby had moderate aortic stenosis.  As I heard the words, I felt my own heart fall out of my body and my brain seemed to empty itself of all previous knowledge of congenital heart disease.  I looked the cardiologist straight in the eye (the same cardiologist I had worked with for almost 2 years taking care of infants with congenital heart disease) and asked "what does that mean?" It took him a second as I'm sure he was trying to figure out if I was serious or not and then he responded that our son would have to be followed closely and would likely need a procedure in the cath lab to open up his valve within the next few months.  We kept the diagnosis to ourselves at first, not wanting other peoples' questions and anxiety to add to our own stress.  But as time went by, he  continued to receive positive reports at all his visits.  And here we are 3 years later with a happy, healthy boy who can dribble circles around most kids his age.
I took him to the dentist recently and when the office staff asked me if the kids had any health problems, I responded "nope, they're fine - no health problems."  It took me a minute before I quickly yelled out the door ... "actually, he has a heart problem."  Her look was priceless.  I suppose I tend to minimize my own children's illnesses, but I'll take it as a blessing that it's not the first thing I think of when I think of my son.
Mom of the year ...  Now where did I put the baby's epi pen?

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Halloween Preparation

Halloween is a time of year when many moms thrive.  So many opportunities to show the world how "pinteresting" you are - elaborate pumpkin carving and crafts, cute Halloween-themed snacks for preschool, coordinated costumes for the kids.  Well, as much as I love Halloween, I think I fall a little short of the "pinterest" standards.  We have a pumpkin carving party each year but haven't actually carved a pumpkin since we procreated.  We hit the pumpkin farms but not in cute coordinated pumpkin applique outfits.  And of course we love to go trick or treating, but I tend to either eat all the candy or throw it away.  Last year was the first year my kids became aware that they liked candy - up until then I had actually convinced them that they didn't like it (poor naive souls).  When we started talking about trick or treating this year, my now 4 1/2 year old daughter looked at me with a very serious face and asked "Mommy, will you save me at least one piece of my candy this year?"
"Yes, dear, I suppose I can spare at least one."
Mom of the year ...

Friday, September 27, 2013

Party Pooper ... pun intended

Having successfully potty-trained our daughter shortly after her 2nd birthday (with little to no effort), I wasn't overly concerned about potty-training our son.  I quickly realized that our daughter potty-trained herself and I can take no credit for the accomplishment.  Our 2 year old son has decided that while he has been willing to pee in the potty for the past 2 months, he prefers to poop in his underwear daily.  One day after a particularly tiring night in the hospital, I saw it in his eyes ... he was about to poop.  I scooped him up, ran to the potty, and put him on it.  Next thing I knew, he had pooped in the potty.  Poop. in. the. potty.  I'm fairly certain the clouds parted and gospel choirs were singing in the background.  I wiped a tear from my eye as I wiped his little bottom.  Then, I caught a whiff and as I helped him off the potty, I reached up and flushed it.  I flushed the potty. I flushed the potty.  I am sure my son is not the only one who potties for the shear delight of flushing the toilet.  So just like that, I ruined the most glorious moment of my life and his (well, at least the last 2 months of it).  Forty-five minutes later, he finally got over it.
Mom of the year ...

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Stop yelling at me!

We were leaving the pool the other day and both the kids and I were at the limits of our patience.  As I put my 2 year old into the car, he started screaming for a snack that I didn't have.  I tried reassuring him that we would be home in 5 minutes if he would just get in the car, but he continued screaming and fighting me.  My 4 year old daughter can get herself into her seat (and usually buckle it) so once I had wrestled the little guy into his seat,  I proceeded to get in the car and start it.  When my daughter started yelling too, it pushed me over the edge and I yelled "stop yelling at me!"  I always feel a little guilty when I yell at my kids. On this particular day,  I blame the sun draining me of all energy (I come up with a myriad of excuses depending on the moment).  Anyways, I turned around as I was reversing the car and my daughter had her lips pursed, pointing to her unbuckled carseat with wide eyes.  She had stopped yelling as instructed, poor thing.
Mom of the year ...

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Conversing with a 4 year old

We spent the weekend at the beach on a high school beach retreat. Our 4 year old had a blast getting to hang out with all the older kids and leaders.  One night, she hopped into one of the leader's laps to have a chat. Here's how the conversation went:
Leader "what is the best thing in life?"
Daughter "people"
Leader  "what is the worst thing in life?"
Daughter "boo boos"
Leader "if you could do anything for a day, what would it be?"
Daughter "I'd play"
At this point in his recounting of the conversation, I was feeling pretty good about her cute answers. And then he kept going ...
Daughter "and I'd pee in my pants"
Mom of the year ...

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Here's my number, so call me maybe?

First off, I want to say "Happy Mothers' Day" to all the amazing moms out there!  I'm sure many of you are wondering how the "Mom of the Year" celebrates such an important holiday.  Well, I started the day with a solo run (ahhh ... ) then spent the next hour getting three children ready for church (aghhh!!!).  After that ruckus, I was ready for a break so we dropped them all off at nursery and headed for the coffee shop (yes, we are those people that spend Sunday school hour at the local coffee shop).  I was kind enough to leave my phone number with the baby room since he is only 3 months old and still exclusively breastfed.  About halfway into my coffee date with my husband, I realized that I had left "said" phone in the diaper bag ... in the nursery room.  I sipped a little quicker and headed back to check out the scene.  Fortunately no babies or old ladies rocking babies were permanently scarred today.
Mom of the year ...

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Locked in or out?

So as expected, playing zone defense has been occupying most of my time these days, leaving little time to blog about my many award-winning performances at motherhood.  I am, however, accumulating lots of material between my sleep deprivation and thinning patience.  After a particularly  long day recently, my 4 year old daughter decided to lead a rebellion against me.  As of late, she has been my easiest child but that night, nothing was easy.  I finally asked her to stay in her room to scream her head off instead of having to listen to her cry for no good reason.  I shut the door but she kept opening it and coming out.  So I did what my instincts told me ... I locked the door and shut it.  It was at that moment that I realized I had not locked her in but had instead locked myself out.  Oops!  Fortunately, it unlocked as soon as she turned the knob again to escape her room.
Mom of the year ...

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Seasoned pro

3rd child is here and I suppose you are all ecstatic to see a blog post (finally) from such a seasoned pro at motherhood. This little guy's arrival, however, has given me a few doubts about how much I have learned in my past 4 years as a mother. For starters, I landed in labor and delivery twice in "false labor."  What is the point of timing contractions if Doogie Howser (I swear the resident wasn't a day over 16) is going to look you in the eye and tell you it's not real labor?  I suppose he was right since the baby waited an entire week to make his appearance.  Nothing worse than having to take the walk of shame back to the car at a hospital where you worked for 6 years. Fortunately we had left all the luggage in the car so as my husband reassured me - "at least you don't have to walk back carrying a boppy!" With my confidence a little shaky, I was pretty hesitant to go back to L&D but I made it and the baby arrived safe and sound.
On my first outing with our new addition, I walked him to a park a couple miles away.  As we were getting ready to head home, he started screaming and I realized he was soaked - classic "pee around the diaper" move. Unfortunately for him, this experienced mom had neglected to pack a change of clothes. (I should mention it was February and quite chilly outside).
Clearly, my experience is paying off.
Mom of the year ...