Sunday, May 17, 2015

Popping a squat part 2

Apparently popping a squat never ends well for me and my clan.  We recently decided to put our 2 year old boy in underwear and undertake the challenge of potty training on a whim.  Yes, on a whim ... some people just aren't planners.  Anyways, he had been doing well for a week and had even learned to pee outside (out of necessity of course).  We were at a neighborhood picnic when he said he had to go potty.  Since the actual potty was a 5 minute walk away, I scooted quickly over to a clearing and pulled down his pants for him to potty. A couple seconds later, I heard a little toot and poop came squirting out the backside, just barely missing my own leg, but definitely not missing any part of him.  Apparently, we hadn't clarified which kind of "potty" he meant.  I yelled for help and watched as my husband about fell over laughing.  I was less amused, as I'm sure were the neighbors watching the whole thing go down over dinner.
Mom of the year ...

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

The best laid plans

I took all three of my children, now ages 2, 4, and 6, to dinner by myself one night recently.  I was feeling pretty proud of myself for taking on the challenge and had even decided we would sit outside, given the lovely spring weather. This particular restaurant was counter service so I found myself a little flustered on how I was going to get all the kids and all the food and all the drinks outside.  I mapped out my plan and gave each of the big kids their drink to take outside.  I decided I would get them settled and just bring the 2 year old back in with me to get the food.  I had just finished filling up the drinks when I turned around to see my 2 year old outside the restaurant smiling back at me from the window.  Guess he had come up with his own plan.
Mom of the year ...

Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Tooth fairy fired

My oldest daughter lost her 3rd or 4th tooth last week (yes, I've lost count already). She was, of course, quite excited and handed it to me to see.  Since it was still a bit bloody, I thought I would rinse it off carefully.  It took 3 seconds and I rinsed it right down the drain.  Needless to say, she was devastated so I spent the next half hour convincing her that the tooth fairy didn't need to see the tooth and could find it anywhere.  My daughter carefully wrote a note to the tooth fairy and placed it under her pillow.
The next morning, I came in from an early run and was greeted by my sobbing daughter.  "The tooth fairy didn't come!"  Oh man, she was right - the tooth fairy definitely forgot.  After much damage control, we convinced her that the tooth fairy couldn't see her note written in light green pen.  She rewrote the note in black marker and seemed to buy our story.
I went to work that night and received a text from my husband at 11 pm - "operation TF complete."  I had no idea what he was talking about.  Fortunately, he hadn't forgotten ... again.
Mom of the year ...

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Adventures with Miralax and gastro

After everyone in our house was hit with the stomach bug (aka gastro) right after New Years, I was quick to celebrate when I thought we were out of the woods.  About a week later, our 5 year old daughter began complaining of belly pain.  Usually when she complains of belly pain, I fire up the Miralax because I am a firm believer that constipation in kids is the root of all evil.  I also realized that no one could confirm whether or not she had pooped since her bout with gastro so I doubled the dose and added a few other agents to assist.  She continued complaining of belly pain but still no poo so I started to wonder why my concoction wasn't working.  Perhaps, I had the wrong diagnosis?  I laid off on the constipation meds and stuck with good ol' Tylenol and Motrin for pain. She continued to complain of belly pain and woke up the next night crying, poor thing.  About an hour later, we heard her yell "I threw up and it's in my hair."  We trudged up the stairs to get everything cleaned up, dosed her with some zofran and went back to bed.  Less than an hour later, "Mom, I pooped and it's in my underwear."  Turns out it wasn't just the undies but the jammies, the floor, and the wall too.  I guess Miralax isn't the treatment of choice for gastro.
Mom of the year ...